Scotland In Bloom

I am reeling.  I have just seen a photograph of myself in the local paper.  God Almighty!   I really think I'm going to have to destroy every copy (conveniently it is Guy Fawkes night).  I was at the Scotland In Bloom Awards to pick up a certificate for the efforts we are making in the village.  We had to go up on stage to get the certificate and then pose with it while a photographer clicked...then clicked again... just one more... I knew it would be hideous but this! - this is just cruel! What the hell has happened to my neck?  And I'll NEVER wear that cardigan again.   Even though they got my name wrong it is, tragically, unmistakably me.  The worst aspect of it all is (sob) I thought I looked fine at the time!!!   I told you - it's hell over 50.  Now where are those fireworks?